Mulloskeys Adventures Abroad

Written Korean is a relatively new language. It was created by King Sejong in 1443. For its entire written history, the people of the Korean peninsula used the Chinese character Hanja system. The Hanja characters were incredibly complex and quite difficult to learn for the average ‘layperson’. In an era when only male aristocrats were educated, most Korean people were effectively illiterate. I suppose when you consider it, it is counterintuitive to use a writing system that is in almost no way linked to your spoken words. Anyhow, this King Sejong guy was considered a ‘benevolent’ king (as far as absolute monarchs go) and he sought to change the accessibility of the written word. King Sejong wanted his people to be able to communicated their thoughts into written words. According to Wikipedia, Hangul faced ‘heavy opposition’ from the Korean elite (shock).

Korea nationalism is fairly strong and is probably due to the fact that they’ve been fighting against foreign occupiers for pretty much their entire history. The written system became further popularized and entrenched when the Japanese invaded (again) in the last century. Long story short, after two months of people telling me that Korean is the easiest language in the world to learn. It’s phonetic, the sounds are consistent and I truly believe anyone with a mathematical or even slightly-scientifically inclined mind can pick it up fast. So after a few subway trips to Seoul studying on the train I’m proud to say I’ve mastered it. Sean is well on his way to stellar reading skills as well. Now this doesn’t mean that I can pronounce everything properly or that even if I can read the word that I know what it means…but it does kind of make the world POP around you. You go from feeling that you’re surrounded by meaningless symbols all the time to being able to read and partially understand the world around you. If nothing else, it’s certainly simplified the subway and ordering food at restaurants. The one downside of this newfound ability is that you start to read EVERYTHING. Your normal English sign filter shuts off and you feel the compulsive need to try and sound out all the letters you see. This normally means that you just let more ads into your private mind space. However there are the other times…

Friday night our friend Ben comes back to the table at the local watering hole with a flyer that he picked up on the urinal. First red flag should have been going off at this point…

Obviously dying to show off my new reading ability I start to sound out the letters. First set – easy – numbers – 5,000KRW (about $5). Cool, I’m doing well so far. I can also see the map – again, cool. It’s an add telling me where to go to get SOMETHING for $5. I loudly start to sound out the main text….

PEE-NES MA-SSA-GI … Penis Massagi I yell triumphantly. Oh. Joy of joys, I’ve decoded a flyer for a hand job. Good lord, everyone is looking at me as though I’m advertising my own services in the bar. Turning lobster-red….Take a swig of beer and just move on Erin. Move on.