Mulloskeys Adventures Abroad

Last weekend we went ice skating. Sean has been whining about how much he misses hockey (I guess you would if you go from three times a week to nothing) so we decided to hit up the local rink. As with everything here, it was a little strange. They sell tickets for 2 dollars (which includes your rentals) and that buys you 2 hours of ice time. The problem is that you have to get there at your assigned time. They allow about 200 people on the ice at a time on a rink the size of one I used to skate at near Yonge and Eglinton when I was a kid (Otter Creek maybe?). They herd you on like a bunch of cattle and you skate in circles to really bad 80s music and Korean boy band pop for two hours. The children are all confused and they can’t seem to understand the concept of skating in one direction so they all just scream really loud and bounce off of each other as if they are balls in some sort of bizarre pinball game. This means that on top of it being incredibly crowded, you spend every minute jumping over a kid and praying to god you don’t slice one open in the process. Slicing one open would be very difficult as the skates they rent are those old Micron skates from the late 80s/early 90s with the clip in buckles. There are no edges and they don’t do up properly so you can’t really stop or start without falling. It’s basically a shit show. Highly entertaining nonetheless.

Picture if you will, my dearest Sean, trying to explain to an septuagenarian Korean man the concept of size 14.5 feet. Eventually he had his leg up on the counter with the old man in near hysterics over Sean’s request. I was seriously concerned that he might keel over but elderly Korean are far more hardy than their North American counterparts. He eventually understands what we’re looking for and offer us the largest skates he has. The equivalent of a size 12 and FIGURE SKATES to boot. At least these skates had proper laces (not sketchy buckles). Sean was a trooper and managed to manoeuver his feet into the skates (perhaps at the cost of his big toe which is still a little bruised).

I managed to skate for a grand total of 5 minutes before it became apparent that I couldn’t stay upright, nor was falling particularly enjoyable though it was nicely broken by the many small children. Sean obviously took this opportunity to show off (shocking, I know) and managed some pretty impressive moves before he discovered what is well known to all us girls … the toe pic. I have never seen anything so funny in my entire life as Sean’s full-speed ass over kiester tumble scattering small Asian children like bowling pins. Amazing. This is shortly after the fall. Bruised elbows and a bruised ego but all else appeared to be in tact.

So ended the ice skating adventure. Sean wants to go skiing next weekend as this is a country of mountains and ski resorts are accessible and quite cheap. I’ve told him that we had better get one of our Korean colleagues to call ahead to make sure they have his boot size but he remains obstinately faithful that it will ‘just work out’. Dear god, please talk some sense into this man so I don’t have to deal with the supreme disappointment when we get there …