Here comes round two of hilarious and soul-crushing Korean student life, in their own words. This time there are a few drawings to accompany the text. Grab you PDA, head to the nearest crapper and enjoy these gems on us. As always, lets start with our favourite.
(Note “JLS” is the name of our evening English Academy)
(Note – these are as we find them and unedited)
“I have a friend. He is a bird. His name is Mango. Mango lives in cage. Today I take Mango out cage for play. My mother is not like Mango. And today when Mango is out he is attack mother’s cell phone charm. Mother is so angry. ‘Already she no like you’ I tell Mango. ‘Mango, why you do this?’ I ask. ‘Beep beep’ says the Mango. ‘Really Mango, why you do this? Mother so angry,’ I say. ‘Beep beep’ says the Mango. Mango’s answer is always the same.”
“Today is Tuesday. My dream is police, stewardess, and government official. I want first dream is stewardess. Because beautiful is uniform. I want have stewardess uniform. My second dream is government official. Because government official very handsome and thrill.”
“Today I plant kidney been in flower pot. I gave name it ‘Hang Kong’. I think it is good name. ‘Hang Kong! Please grow up well!” I said like this. To my kidney bean.”
“Today, Jim went to the Phillipines. I’m very, very unhappy. I thought, ‘Please, please not get sick and I hope your English is very good job”. Ah…. my only friend is Jim. Ah…. I like Jim. I’m unhappy.”
“I have a quarrel. I’m sad. I’m said, “I’m so sorry.” Thereupon, my friend said “me too… I’m sorry.” So, we held and hands random together for school. I love my friend.”
“I love monday. Because my school life is happy and funny. And monday is look at the my likes boy. I don’t like saturday and sunday. Because don’t look at the he!”
“Title: BANANA
I eat banana! I like banana! Banana is yellow! And banana is Yummy! I family likes banana! Do you like banana? Banana is fruit! Banana is nutrion food! I like BANANA!”
“I wanted do my homework with Sun-woo. So I called him. “Hello, may I speak to Sun-woo?” “He is not in. I did it by myself. I was strained.”
“Ha…Im very sad. I wanna die. Because my father throw my lovely Parrot Cheese. I hate my father. Why my Cheese throw! I can’t understand. Cheese is sleeping now. Im sorry, Cheese. Really Really I wanna die. Bye… Sorry Cheese!”
“We went to a marriage ceremony. There was no place to sit. We sat at a table in the corner. I was hungry like a horse. I helped myself to everything I liked.”
“My class had a tadpole. One tadpole is grow up to frog. Im so happy. But few days my friend shook a fishing pot. Frog death under the loosened rocks. I so sad.”
“Today we see a classical concert. Sound was refreshingness and fantastic. I’m see classic concert a long time. I’m felt very tired. So I’m slept. Another people see a me. I’m very ashamed.”
“Today Jessica and my sister fun playing with toys and playing house. My favorite game is to play with a toys because all work and no play will do you harm some fun with the other kids. I’ve come partly on business and partly for pleasure. Bye.”
“I have lots of hobbies. I like reading and painting. Listening to music is another hobby. I want to learn dancing. I guess I am greedy.”
“I’m today go to school. At lunch time is boys and girls fighting. Then, school teacher is we’re get into a room. My think girls are bad. Girls is boys hitting and a hair catching. I’m next is kills all girls.”
“Today I was happy. Today’s morning I was happy because……….? And Im going to the school. We’re change seats. I’m seat with my best friend!!!! Im happy……. Today is very beautiful day. Suddenly I thought classmates are very pretty and beautiful. Its very novelty.”
“Ah…. Im so tired. I can play? Its dream… I can watch TV? Its dream to..ha. Im so so so x100000 tired and sleepy. Who make test? I want kill them —-!! And, I can’t JLS homework, too. Sorry, Annie,,,, But you understand my heart, and thank you! Good night!”
“Yesterday and today I ate barbecue. Barbecue is very hot but very delicious. Go to outside mosquitos attack me I hard attack mosquitos is Died.”
“I looked final test yesterday. I thought I will can get good score. And that’s go real. I got score about all one hundred. So I was happy. But girls hit me. I don’t know girls mind. But I was happy.”
“Today is July 1st, so today change class seat. I seat is back but A/C wind came me so Im cool. At lunch time I’m play soccer and teacher on A/C. So I’m very very very cool. I think my class is Antarctica. Ahhhhhhhh!!!”
“Today I saw the earthworm. Earthworm is very good to people. Because earthworm is good to has to a soil. They eat the fallen. The excrements is good to a soil. Be they go only the front. They entertain.”
(Note: Symbol for ghost/death is that little sperm-like looking thing rising from the head of the dead baby hedgehog. See photo.)
“Yesterday my friend’s hedgehog had the baby. Her name is “goggam” But today it died. I was so sad. Im cry. Its not mine but she loves her. She said to me “The mom will picked her splinter and it died” and so her little sister said “goggam will go to the hell” her mom said “The goggam was not do want to do that. Just splinter picked her so blood come out and she’s dead” We have die out. We saw her eyes. It was so cute and I think – I think its not dead but,” It likes a really lived hedgehog. I want to her to not her put in the ground.”

“The mom is bye. I was stealthily ate noodle. Lucky, I ate very much. My sister like noodle too. So she ate very much too. Noodles very yummy and white. But mom come back soon. Hide bowl. But Im ate very much. So lucky.”
“Today my word test is blank. Was mistaken 4. Got frightened out to mother. I don’t like vocabulary test. Vocabulary test is very hardship. I want to play.”
“Lets my friends play the game. Its funny. Tag it me! One, two, three, four…. Play game! Where is the my friends? Mmmm…. here? No. here? No. Not here. Oh!! Here Chang-mu, you’re tagged!!”
“I have new friend (boy). He name is Lee Gwang. He is very scary. Because he beat a boys. But he don’t beat a girls. He is gentle.”
“My School test score travel down. Because sometimes Im study. But very hard study. Im think about who says “No Studying, Never! Never more study” Who say? – I’ve very wanted say. But Amazing works. Then unavoidable, Im study very hard. Study!”
“Why Earth People love study? Why? And… Who invention learn and study? Study invention people very very so much hateful! But finally, unavoidable, Im very very hard study!!. That’s problem!!”
“I got a prize statement. I like reading books. After reading I write a book review. We can have vicarious experiences through books. I was happy to receive a compliment.”
“Yesterday and today I ate Kimbap. My mom made Kimbap. Yesterday breakfast, lunch and dinner were Kimbap. Today breakfast, lunch and dinner were Kimbap too. But Im okay. I think I like Kimbap.”
(Note: There is a picture attached. No, I do not have an Adidas shirt. Yes I wear Birks. in class)
“My English teacher Sean. He is very fun. He looks like Robinsun Courso. He has the biggest feet. He has soft hair. I don’t believe he is old. His class fun.”

“Mother, sister and brother go Homeplus. In sit the Homeplus shopping cart. And pushed sister for me. And Im fell the watermelon. And broken the watermelon. And I’m sustained bruise. I’m hurt.”
“I’m busy. Because I’m going to institute. And my teacher with me in house. I’m busy. And I’m difficult. So, today have nosebleed. Blood is strong red.”
“Today, I play with my dog. Everyday I didn’t play with my dog because I’m very busy from school, academy and homework. So, I don’t’ play with my dog everyday. Everyday I think I want to play with my dog. Because he is very cute and funny. But I’m okay, because I sleep with my dog everyday. I throw away the ball. My dog fetch it. When he excrete the dung, I give the snack to my dog. I love him very much. He is my best friend in the world.”
“Today I went to JLS class. There are lots of things happened in JLS. We did ‘hammer game’. When I won the game I have to hit other person. The other person was Sarah! Oh No! Sarah is my favorite friend. But I have to hit Sarah. I hit Sarah very very hard. I was sorry about that. But Lucy hit me. Suddenly, Mary cried. (Mary was very sad). I want everyone smile in class. ”
“I was bitten by mosquitos. My eyes itched. I rubbed my eyes. My eyes were puffy. I can’t see things that are close. I was embarrassed.”
“Today I heard a bad news. My Grandmother sister is kick the bucket. My grandmother cried. I look my Grandma I so impatient. My father finish the pharmacy and going to go to funeral. My Grandmother sister heavenly bliss.”
“Today is very terrible day and during holiday I went to cottage. But I was stung by bee. I almost crazy. And I became torn my ear because my earring hung the pillow when I lie down. And!!! I play in the valley but I was bitten by strange fish. However, one thing was a good thing. It is, I saw a snake! In the valley! The snake lie down on the rock. It as very cute cute cute cute, lovely lovely lovely snake. By grandfather came to the snake and he said ‘go!’ and the snake really go. That is Grandfather and snake’s communication.”
(Note: Here is the picture from above representing how God’ was responsible for her bad vacation day because ‘God’ put her in God’s “terrible day book” – lol!)
“Today I go to beach. So my neck and face black! I’m very angry. It is so prick. My mother says it is burn. So I’m angry more. I’m never go beach again!”
“Subject: Hi Stephanie (future)
Hi! Stephanie? How are you? It’s a little weird to write a letter to myself. I bet I’m a high school student now. Do I like my school uniform? What is my favorite subject? I like art and music classes now. Dad said he will take me to Lotte World. I’m so excited. Does he have gray hair? How tall am I now? Do I wear glasses? I try not to watch TV too close to keep my good vision. There are so many things I want to ask myself. Stay healthy, be happy. Stephanie (now)”
“Finished a school I went to a public health centre. Because I got a preventative injection to Japanese encephalitis. Japanese encephalitis is move use a mosquito. And this season is summer. So many mosquito live in city. We don’t division a Japanese injection mosquito. But!! I don’t worry!! Ha Ha Ha!”
“Today I make a nature soap. First melt soap base. Flower, incense and flower powder and melt soap base, put on frame. Waited and waited. Soap was become hard. Completion nature soap. It was very easy.”
“My magic bean is very big like a tree. My teacher said a butter fly coming and butterfly gift pollen. My magic bean is very, very big but if I no water, magic is small die. I want my magic bean is no die.”
(Note: Summer vacation is 3.5 weeks and usually means they still go to all their private academies, and have lots of homework)
“I love vacation and today is vacation!!! Finally I can escape from this terrible school. I will heap upon a curse to my teacher. The worst point is the stupid school gave me the many vacation homeworks. I will play on vacation. Also, like go mad.”
“It was hot today. It was oppressive. I felt tired and thirsty because it was too hot. Even when I sat still, the sweat ran. I wanted to have crushed ice with sweet red beans. Today’s weather is homicide hot weather.”
“Today, our school started a ‘summer vacation’. So I made a ‘plan’ My dream plan is ‘eat’ and ‘play’ and ‘sleep’. But….. We can’t. Because we need….. ‘STUDY’. Anyway I want to safe this summer.”
“Today I buy some spongeboob Lego!!! I like Lego!! And I like spongeboob very much. My father buy Legos to me and my older brother!! I love my father!!! Spongeboob like a yellow sponges!! I like yellow sponges!!! Todays was very happy, interesting, fun and great day!”
(Lets finish with my favourite diary drawing. Note: The picture does say a thousand words here, so I decided not to include the written portion - Ever felt like your night’s sleep lasted only 1 second? Welcome to the life of a Korean student. “UNBILIBUBLE!”)
